THE PURPOSE OF this book is to give you an up close and much more realistic look at what couples go through in their marriage or relationship. I have been a certified counselor, coach, and consultant for over 40 years. I have seen first-hand the merriment and madness. I have seen some of my best friends “push the envelope” on their own marriages or relationships to a point where right in front of me a great marriage was about to dissolve.
I have mediated in arguments and fights and I have helped those who swore there was no way in hell they would stay married to the partner they were with, yet happily stayed together. When you are on the front lines of a relationship it gets raw and real. You hear things your clients and friends say to their partners that are disturbing. You witness grief and loss and a whole gamut of emotions
. And all of this is always late on the chain of events. And that’s something to keep in perspective in your own marriage or relationship. If you “roll the video tape back” when you first met, most often the love for your partner and they for you, was at its highest. Communication was at its best. It doesn’t mean everything was perfect, but if you did get married there was something more than a passing interest and some hot sex on a Friday night. So as with anything in life, conditions either expand or they contract. If you don’t clean your house, wash your car, or water your plants, all those things worsen. A marriage or relationship is no different. It is a living breathing thing. You must add to your relationship. If you’ve ever gone a week without watering your plants and come up to find them yellowed or brown, you know what I’m talking about.
And often when it gets crazy down the road you may have waited too long to add. Not enough added kindness. Not enough added communication. And ultimately added effective counseling. In the chapters ahead, you will find with each chapter I’ve taken something from my 40+ years of counseling and try expose the truth about what couples really experience, and at the same time offer some wisdom and advice to prevent the madness and bring about more merriment.
There is nothing particularly easy about keeping a relationship rocking and rolling. It does take work. But that can be a bit of a cliché. You may have worked and worked and worked on your relationship and yet it’s still not really where you want it to be. And that’s when being effective comes in. Working on your relationship without any tools is just more work. Learning some skills and tools to then change and improve the condition of your relationship, is effective work. As you go through these chapters you will see the lessons I try to teach to help you be more effective in creating a great relationship. If you wish to get more tools and learn how to be more effective in making your relationship work, feel free to contact me at the contact information I’ve left at the back of this book. I offer a free relationship questionnaire and a free consultation to go over your results.
Enjoy the ride.
Dave Worthen
Author
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